Past Tense: Stopping "Where I'm From" From Controlling "Where I'm Going"

"Back to the future, gotta slow up for the present
I'm fast, n*ggas can't get past my past
How they propose to deal with my perfect present"

Jay-Z, "Hovi Baby"

As millions of rap enthusiasts salivate over Shawn Carter's new album Magna Carta Holy Grail (or indulge in it, if you already downloaded it), one can't help but reminisce over some of his previous classics. I still play the aforementioned song and album in my car, the 2002 LP The Blueprint 2: The Gift and The Curse remaining one of my favorite pieces of work from Jay. In the song, "Hova" elaborates on fans and critics alike being so enamored with his contributions (as an artist and person), they miss his modern day creativity and genius. While this is a theme that Jay revisits later in his career, this line always struck a chord with me and does now more than ever. It tells a story of a person's attempts to prosper being squelched by nostalgia, and the challenge of trying to escape what you once were to reveal what you have become or wish to be. For me this story lends itself to several aspects of life, including family, career, and legacy. Now standing tall as an adult, we may not be able to claim a "perfect present", but seek to show the world we are much more than what we were.

I'm often perceived as "the young guy". In many places I've worked, I'm the youngest guy on the team; because I haven't ventured away from my family, I still feel that same treatment from people as "Charles' boy" or "Nece's (Denise) son". Furthermore, my extremely positive outlook on life and at times my "boneheaded plays" came off as immaturity and overshadow the HARD work that I put in.  Many of us go through this in our daily walk. Despite our various accomplishments, we still struggle for acceptance as an equal, knowledgeable person, or in certain cases, "the man".  The challenge is compounded when we are offered new or additional responsibilities, like positions of leadership or serious relationships. 

Your environment may shape you,
but it doesn't define you. 

People will offer doubts, questioning how you can handle your new circumstances. They may even criticize your previous performance, stating you aren't ready. What do you do?

1. Welcome the Challenge.

On an recent episode of the sports debate show "First Take", sports reporter Scoop Jackson was asked will the new coach of the Boston Celtics be able to handle the strong personality of star Rajon Rondo, who carries a reputation of being a hothead and stubborn. His response was that he felt Rondo would look forward to assuming the responsibility of leader and best player on the team. After living in the shadow of the Boston "Big Three", being under-appreciated for your contribution to a championship, and as one of the top point guards in the league, you would want my chance to prove my worth too! The opportunity to be great is not always posed in the form of positivity. Translate the message into one that allows you to make you step your game up. As a young man in college, I often found myself being lumped in with my crew Y.Me. After a while, I needed to make my own moves and prove I can be the man on my own. From there, I started my own shows and started building the brand of Cedric, separate from the team. New missions lie ahead for us, young and old; financial freedom, successful relationships, parenthood are just a few of the hurdles we are looking to clear. Don't be "scurred".

2. Acknowledge Room for Growth.

The way to success starts with examining what we do and don't know. I'm sorry...we don't know it all. It's okay! We can however work on improving ourselves. The goal is to analyze and maximize...yeah, that's hot. I had (have lol) a hard time accepting criticism. As my best friend Swain explains it, "It's hard when you are smart and sensitive. If you were dumb, you would miss when people try to take shots at you." It hurts when they don't love you (whoever they may be), what you do, or what you bring to the table. Fret not though friends, because there are many layers to reception and perception. First, our greatness are often realized in moments of nothingness or regression. We don't know what we got 'til it's gone; that's what Janet and Joni say. Find solace in what you DO bring. You can still improve though, and it is good to push yourself to work on the areas of opportunity. If you're a man who makes a ton of money, got a job and education, but you don't take care of your kids...you have room for growth. Likewise, if you are a man who is a good person, go to church, love your mom, but you don't have no bread, you have a place you can focus your attention on. We are not perfect, but we can strive to be the best we can be and that process should never really stop. 

Though his talent was evident from
the early years, this man would
GROW into the rapper and entrepreneur
we  now today.

3. Work on Your Soft Spots. 

Once you identify those weak areas, it's time to get rid of them. Anyone who grew up in a humble home, those with kids, or people who value the dollar can relate to the following: After a few days of having fruit in your home, you may notice the fruit may have a bruised spot or a bad spot. You don't throw that fruit away. You take that peach and cut that section out; the soft spot in the tomato is removed and you eat the rest. It's safe to say that we have soft spots as people, negative traits or behaviors. You don't need to keep the bad characteristics around, simply because they've been around for a long time or you relate them to your upbringing. Some of us are from bad walks of life: some were raised in the hood; others a place of racism or homophobia. As you learn about life and visit places, you realize that being from a place doesn't mean you have to embody those negatives. Filter the good and work to eliminate the rest. It's not something that happens overnight, but it feels so good to rid yourself of mental and physical chains holding you back from glory.

4. Understand The "Difference".

Looking to become the "Top Model" me is an ongoing, challenging, and rewarding process. I've made many strides and stand much further along from the skinny, brainy kid from Morrisville. Despite that, it is very obvious that I have much further to go. It is important that you determine your own chart and timeline and know the difference between where you are and should be versus what other people feel on the matter. The opinion of others is valuable but not essential to your development. Find your path and destination and run towards it.

And the prophecy read that

One day like the Phoenix rose from the ashes

That a boy will be born unto a family in the slums

This boy will go on and use the knowledge that he gains

While fighting for survival in the streets

To become a great leader

And in time that boy will grow to become King!!!!!!

Ray Davies, "Sting  of  the Serpant"; T.I. "King Back"

Ceddy P