I, Cedric Charles Perry, am a hater. Whew...though it's tough to say, admission is the first step to recovery. It's a gene that has traveled throughout my family tree; my great-grandmother has been recognized as one of the more influential haters during the civil rights movement. My sister Dee actually holds the Pennsylvania state record for most consecutive statements using the word "corny", with 46. It appears that there are numerous types of haters; my type is called "Conditional Hater", where in attempts to create humor, I will break out in uncontrollable hating. Recognizing that this trait runs in my family, I was bound to be a hater and it's better for me to acknowledge this now and help others who share this condition.
To better address this addiction, which currently affect approximately 3.6 million people in America (I made that number up), let's identify what hating is. Rapper LL Cool J once stated that hating is "identifying a person doing something you wish you could do." Tough. UrbanDictionary.com defines hating as "when one puts down the success or fortune of others due to jealousy." These two descriptions are very good, but let's open it up even more. Hating can also be defined as a strategy used to limit the impact or appeal of a person, place, or thing. This is better, because we all know hating is not limited to people. I hate on reality shows, Rick Ross' chain of his face, and potato salad. Last week, I heard someone hating on their friend's decision making. Terrible.
Throughout the day, you probably experience many people who display this behavior. You may discover that YOU may be the hater in your circle. Do not fret, there are ways to curb these actions and build yourself as a person. When encountering a situation where you prepare to start hating, identify and improvise. Here's an example: this time last year, I found myself at a house party with a fraternity rival, Kappa Alpha Psi. I respect the "Nupes" but there is a certain level of hate, because sorority girls jock them heavy and they have nice cardigan sweaters. During the party, I found myself "pitching woo" at a very attractive sorority girl. Did I get the digits? Yes, but when I stepped away a Kappa made his way to this same girl and became very comfortable.
OOH...the hate was burning in my chest! Instead of hating though I listened, trying to identify why he was being successful. During his conversation with the girl, he seemed to be speaking with a different dialect. In each statement, he would start with a snide remark about her, but finish with a compliment. One time he said, "Shorty you think you're cute. You're corny...with those pretty eyes." She was stupefied, and so was I! Immediately I jotted the trick down in my phone and since then, the "Kappa Compliment" has become a part of my repertoire. It has greatly impacted my success rate.
Examples like this are just one way of using hate to help you out. Despite its normal use, hating (or accelerated criticism as most scholars call it) can have a positive impact and can benefit both parties. If you find yourself hating on someone and talking to them directly, provide suggestions for them to improve. They may listen and respond positively. When hating on someone in private ask yourself, why am I hating? Do I think I could do this? Why am I not doing this? Challenge yourself to be at your best instead of spending time criticizing others. Finally, try your hardest not to bring up people hating on you. That is 1.) free advertising for them 2.) a very vain statement 3.) a waste of time. When you add those up, you're hating on yourself. Peace.
Cedric Perry is the producer of the sitcom "We're Just Talking" and author of two young adult novels, Homecoming and In Line for Love. For more on Perry, go to www.pick6time.com.
To better address this addiction, which currently affect approximately 3.6 million people in America (I made that number up), let's identify what hating is. Rapper LL Cool J once stated that hating is "identifying a person doing something you wish you could do." Tough. UrbanDictionary.com defines hating as "when one puts down the success or fortune of others due to jealousy." These two descriptions are very good, but let's open it up even more. Hating can also be defined as a strategy used to limit the impact or appeal of a person, place, or thing. This is better, because we all know hating is not limited to people. I hate on reality shows, Rick Ross' chain of his face, and potato salad. Last week, I heard someone hating on their friend's decision making. Terrible.
Throughout the day, you probably experience many people who display this behavior. You may discover that YOU may be the hater in your circle. Do not fret, there are ways to curb these actions and build yourself as a person. When encountering a situation where you prepare to start hating, identify and improvise. Here's an example: this time last year, I found myself at a house party with a fraternity rival, Kappa Alpha Psi. I respect the "Nupes" but there is a certain level of hate, because sorority girls jock them heavy and they have nice cardigan sweaters. During the party, I found myself "pitching woo" at a very attractive sorority girl. Did I get the digits? Yes, but when I stepped away a Kappa made his way to this same girl and became very comfortable.
OOH...the hate was burning in my chest! Instead of hating though I listened, trying to identify why he was being successful. During his conversation with the girl, he seemed to be speaking with a different dialect. In each statement, he would start with a snide remark about her, but finish with a compliment. One time he said, "Shorty you think you're cute. You're corny...with those pretty eyes." She was stupefied, and so was I! Immediately I jotted the trick down in my phone and since then, the "Kappa Compliment" has become a part of my repertoire. It has greatly impacted my success rate.
Examples like this are just one way of using hate to help you out. Despite its normal use, hating (or accelerated criticism as most scholars call it) can have a positive impact and can benefit both parties. If you find yourself hating on someone and talking to them directly, provide suggestions for them to improve. They may listen and respond positively. When hating on someone in private ask yourself, why am I hating? Do I think I could do this? Why am I not doing this? Challenge yourself to be at your best instead of spending time criticizing others. Finally, try your hardest not to bring up people hating on you. That is 1.) free advertising for them 2.) a very vain statement 3.) a waste of time. When you add those up, you're hating on yourself. Peace.
Cedric Perry is the producer of the sitcom "We're Just Talking" and author of two young adult novels, Homecoming and In Line for Love. For more on Perry, go to www.pick6time.com.
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