Today marks the beginning of the
2013 NBA Finals, and this evening fans across the globe will be tuned in to
watch history. Audiences are interested to know whether LeBron James, Dwayne
Wade, Chris “Osh Kosh B” Bosh and the Miami Heat can overtake the cerebral and
equally talented San Antonio Spurs to win their second consecutive NBA
Championship together. The Heat are coming off a difficult series in which they
were taken to the limit, but it may have served them well. Watching Miami
persevere actually offered me perspective on winning in another area of
interest: relationships. In analyzing basketball, it has become apparent that
the parallels between succeeding on the hardwood and in your love life are surprisingly
strong.
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| As a leader, Lebron takes the responsibility of helping his team succeed. This is a role we should embrace in a relationship. |
Relationships require a number of
components that mirror developing a title contender in the basketball and
sports in general. To win in both you must build a team with players that mesh
well together, follow a system or plan, and compromise
for the sake of the team. Compiling "superstars" in basketball does
not guarantee winning the big games, as having two sexy people dating each
other does not signify a great relationship. Miami, as with other championship
teams, comprised a team that commands respect and consideration no matter their
individual obstacles. The elements of this team can also be used to build a
great union of love. Here are five important elements (accompanied with basketball
examples) of building a great "squad":
1.
The
Leader (You) - Every team requires a person that they look to spearhead
their success and pull them through pressurized situations. The leader shows no
fear when the "rubber meets the road", and in moments of defeat they accept
responsibility. Most importantly, the star does not overindulge in
self-fulfillment. Despite the large amount of coverage and attention they
receive, they know success is a derivative of individual accolades, but
GREATNESS stems from generating group accomplishments. In relationships, YOU
are your own leader. You are the star, not in the sense of the relationship
being all about you, but meaning you have great influence in determining the
outcome of the union. Ex: LeBron James,
Michael Jordan, Tim Duncan, Magic Johnson.
2. The
Co-Star (Your Mate) - Standing beside the leader looms the partner, the
running buddy...the co-star. To have a great relationship, you need a mate that
is a.) equally talented or b.) talented in areas that you are not as strong in.
A great girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife is not only a person that has your back, but is capable of picking up
your weight if needed. A star can experience a high level of success, but two
stars working together historically have fared better. This also proves true in
basketball. Great players such as Reggie Miller and Allen Iverson achieved Hall
of Fame numbers (Miller reaching the Hall in 2012 and Iverson sure to follow)
and reached the NBA Finals but were unable to overcome the dominance of
Shaquille O'Neal and his talented co-star, a young and driven Kobe Bryant. Ex. Dwyane Wade, Tony Parker, Scottie
Pippen, Penny Hardaway.
3.
The
Engine (aka "Pulse", "Heartbeat", "Key") (Your
Love Life) - The Miami Heat is one of several teams in the NBA that lay
claim to possessing three great players on their team, known as the "Big
Three". These players receive the most recognition and are cited as the
key to the team's success. In these players dominating the attention, there
often lays a player who does the "dirty work", and without their
contributions the team suffers. One of the rudiments of relationships commonly
overlooked is intimacy. Conversations with people married or dating may offer
otherwise, but romance in relationships is not given its just due. Whether ignoring
the importance of intimacy or not placing enough value in sex/love making, we
can often lose sight of balancing functionality and freakiness. It is easy to push
romance to the background with so many other daily happenings, but a
relationship devoid of expression can be downright cantankerous. We do not
realize its value until we see how bad a relationship can be without it. I
stress this point, because I don’t want to give you the wrong impression. You
need love and affection. Ex: Dennis
Rodman, Derek Fisher, Chris Bosh, Rajon Rondo, Manu Ginobili.
4.
The Role
Players (Goals) – For all the game winning jump shots basketball legend
Michael Jordan hit throughout his career, two of his six championships were
clinched by the shots of two players who will never be mentioned in the same sentence
as “superstar”. While stars are essential, teams are stabilized through their
role players, guys which have specific responsibilities and duties. The 3-point
shooter, bruiser, and defensive specialist are all types of role players that
round out a team, give them focus, and maximize their potential.
In relationships
there are only two people that make a difference, but there are role players. For
those dating and marrying, goals and objectives operate as the specialists. Buying a house, planning a family, and
budgeting for such expenses as vacation and retirement are goals that couples use
to reinforce their relationship. These are important to have when the pressure
(known as the “double team”) arrives; maintaining goals allows for duos to maneuver
through distractions. Ex: Nate Robinson,
Chris “Birdman” Anderson, other people you wouldn’t know.
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| Having the right coach is crucial, as they find a way to motivate his players in any situation. |
5.
The
Coach (Motivation) – After compiling a team in basketball, there is one
final part to pushing your team over the top: securing the correct coach. The
right coach with the right system is hard to find. In the NBA’s 66 years there
have been 65 championship games; there are only 30 coaches who have won at
least one NBA title (Phil Jackson has won 11 of them.) Coaches design a system
and game plan for the players to implement. They set up a schedule and
structure for the team to follow, but more importantly they are teachers: they
mentor, mold, and motivate. Relationships all possess moments that require
guidance and inspiration. It is essential to obtain (and maintain) a source of
motivation and knowledge. The obvious suggestion for me is God; in Him, we are
offered a deity that can steer us when we cannot answer questions on our own. While
in no way am I calling Pat Riley God, God is definitely a coach. In situations
that we are lost or discouraged, your coach calms you and refocuses you on the
task. It is no coincidence that championship teams are led by strong,
intelligent coaches and great couples have a strong relationship with God. Ex. Phil Jackson, Gregg Popovich, Doc
Rivers.
As you enjoy the NBA Finals,
consider the connection between the game of roundball and relationships.
Ladies, you now know why we tune in so intently; we do it for you.
Ceddy P
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