Everyday ‘Scandal’: How to Handle Your Own Controversy… Without Kerry Washington

It happened every Thursday. You looked forward to (or dreaded) the social commotion the moment the clock hit 10:00 pm. In two short seasons, ABC's drama series Scandal became arguably the most talked about show on television. The show centers around the crisis management firm of Olivia Pope (played by Kerry Washington), a former associate of the President of the United States who works to keep the compromising secrets and affairs of the highest elected officials under wraps; ironically enough, Pope had a scandalous past with the President.

Sometimes everyday citizens find themselves
in compromising situations fit for the Oval Office.

Scandal draws great reviews for its writing and cast, but also hits with fans for its take on how handle "awkward" situations. Though we may not have affairs in the oval office, many of us experience scandals of our own kind. Arrest, affairs, job terminations, and unplanned pregnancies are just a few of the wild issues that we face on a daily basis. Unfortunately, we as everyday citizens cannot rely on the star of "Peeples" to bail us out.

Through my experiences and studies, I've observed several tips that would mitigate the backlash from being involved in controversy. Please note that these tips do not exempt you from losing your job, your woman, or more. They will, however, give you the opportunity to potentially recover and move past the disappointment these indiscretions may cause.

1.       Come Forward and Tell the Truth. The worst decision to make in moments of controversy is to strongly deny involvement when you know you did it! In urban neighborhoods, this is known as a "bold-faced lie"; under no circumstance should you look someone in the eye and arrogantly repudiate claims which are true. In my heathen college days, I occasionally used my Facebook profile as a tool to flirt with girls. While in the middle of a relationship I decided to send a message to my “friend”, who also happened to be a female my girlfriend DESPISED. Prior to this, I VEHEMENTLY denied any communication with the girl. Everything was okay, until one day in negligence, I left my profile up.

Yeah…that didn’t turn out so well.

Denial of a rumor that is eventually confirmed can be a major blow to your credibility and reputation. After being caught, you are immediately identified as a liar, a fraud, and bee-yotch (sorry, I added that.) If approached about an immoral act, acknowledge your mistake and be apologetic but...

2.       Don't Be Absurdly Emotional. You're a grown man. Maybe you're a grown WO-man. Whatever your gender is, you are of age to make conscious decisions and understand their consequences. So please excuse those who hear your confession and are not gushing with sympathy. In an admission of guilt, don’t start crying (especially mid-sentence). Remember: This is not television. You may have previously watched your favorite singer, actor, or athlete on TV, crying like someone stole their bike, but we’re not rich or famous. It doesn’t have the same effects when we try it. The results of the action may be traumatizing and disheartening to you, but you are the wrongdoer in this incident. The victim is the only person who unfortunately receives the right to be shed tears. Apologize, be sincere, and be empathetic to the emotions of those affected.

3.       Understand, Filter, and Grow from the Criticism. "Haters" will speak on our failures.  Close friends may look down on you, and family members could potentially thrive on reminding you of how you screwed up.  In this time, understand everyone thinks that they are entitled to speak their opinion. Try to take any positive from these conversations, laugh at those who try to bring you down, and use the frustration to avoid these circumstances going forward.

All of these superstar athletes were engulfed in
controversy during their career before working
to regain their reputation. 

4.       Rebuild Your Reputation. It will not remove your act from the record, but working to be a positive, SUCCESSFUL citizen will chip away at the distrust and disappointment the action in question has brought. "Winning" with humility helps in turning public opinion back in your favor. After pleading guilty to dog fighting in 2008, the reputation of NFL quarterback Michael Vick was in shambles. He lost endorsement deals, was suspended by the league and released by the Atlanta Falcons, and immediately was despised by fans. Vick would work tirelessly to reclaim his reputation through confessing guilt, educating himself and others on animal cruelty, and regain his superstar form on the field. 

This model was followed five years earlier when basketball star Kobe Bryant was accused of rape (Bryant’s assault case was eventually dismissed, with a civil lawsuit being settled out of court.) As Bryant continued to enjoy success on the court, he slowly recovered the support of basketball fans, not to mention his endorsement deals. In a scandal, trust is lost almost immediately. In circumstances like possession of marijuana or adultery, your word is no longer respected. The way to regain trust is to prove you are capable of being trusted  Performing well helps people believe again. Changing how you are perceived won’t be done in a weekend or months; it may take years. No matter the period, never stop working to change their perception.

5.       Keep Living. Mistakes happen during life. Bad decisions are made, and the consequences will play out at some point during our stay here on earth. Despite these points, do not dwell upon the disappointing moments which bring your progression as a person to an abrupt halt. Dedicate yourself to the elements of life that bring peace and love; family, passions, and a relationship with God are a few things that help identify the important things in life. Furthermore, they allow you to grow and move beyond the tough moments. Refuse to let your life be defined by one moment of poor judgment; being remembered as a positive, caring person is the best “Olivia Pope” you can have.