Is He a Franchise Player? The Chronicles of a Newly Drafted Boyfriend

Being the guy in a new relationship is like...a rookie entering the NFL. Though you've done this before, each time you play for a new team (female), there is more at stake. You bust your butt in the pre-draft workouts (dating), say all the right things in interviews, and get drafted (boyfriend status). Play well, and everyone takes notice (ex-girlfriends, girls you were talking to, and girls you wish you met while you were single). No one, however, is happier than your team, because in the league, all they are playing for is a ring (wedding).

The immediate success of RGIII is similar to what most
 new boyfriends seek to have in their relationships.

For me, I finally made it to the league. Highly touted as a charming guy with a nice personality and  ability to throw deep (literally and figuratively), critics still questioned my toughness. In addition, many ladies subconsciously debated my ability to be a franchise player, the guy that would play his whole career with them. Well, a team took a chance on me, and now I'm returning my team to glory; you can call me RGIII...nah CP3...um, Cedric will do. 

Despite the success that a "Rookie Boyfriend" enjoys, there are a number of roadblocks that, if unprepared, can lead to poor performance or worse, their downfall. As I've matriculated through the first three months, these are the challenges I've observed and experienced.

Distance

Distance is a problem area that takes on different forms. The first form is emotional distance. In linking up with a person, your experiences in relationships can simultaneously bring you together and push you apart. What did your exes treat you like? Did they scar you, and leave you cold to real love? Was your relationship good or prosperous, so much that the next man is constantly battling for respect (Known in certain circles as the "Juanita Jordan Theory")? In the initial stages, the two parties are working towards learning each other while remnants of their single life attempt to hold on. The freedom to call and text as you please, go anywhere without notifying anyone, and desires to chill are elements of bachelorhood (and bachelorette-hood) that refuse to die without a fight. Though those are principles we enjoy, the life you're trading it in for has GREAT value.

The second is physical distance. Long distance relationships have been greatly aided with technology such as Skype and Face Time (My weapon of choice), but nothing replaces being in person with the one who has your heart. Secondly, the time you spend together is amazing, but it leaves you heartbroken and yearning for more when it's time to go home. My lady is from Chicago; on my first trip to the Windy City, I was in O' Hare International looking like Wyclef Jean in "Gone 'Til November". Though these two types of distance present obstacles, they help you gauge your endurance and work on ways to creatively counter them. Along with the Face Time, I like to engage in silly couple games, share in conversations that result in two-way dialogue (News on Black America, opinion of 2 Chainz, Fashion), and the occasional freaky statement.

Distraction

This is what the girls look like to you once
you're no longer single...and they want YOU.

If you survey men currently in a relationship, 5 out of every 6 will tell you women hit on them twice as much as they did when they were single. It's common knowledge among the brotherhood, and we're not talking about the one from Undercover Brother. There is an unidentified gene, pheromone, or orange aura that attracts the opposite sex once it's totally immoral for you to pursue anything with them. Many guys just accept it as the law of the land, but there is reasoning behind this. That "unidentified gene" is confidence brought about by having a woman (outside your Mom, sister, or Auntie) that values you. Your girlfriend's love and desire for you inspires a bravado that allows you to talk to anyone free of fear. That confidence is picked up by surrounding ladies like meat to dogs. With that type of exposure, men receive an opportunity to fail. It's no excuse to proceed and do wrong, but many of us embrace this previously unseen attention (whether we use it for good or evil). 

Unused to being a wanted commodity, we bask in the ambiance, usually getting ourselves in trouble. My co-worker offered this piece of advice: If it is of equal or lesser value than your girlfriend, it's no use. If it's higher value, just don't get the number...just kidding (Seriously don't take contact information; asking for the number, facebook, twitter, instagram, or pinterest is just access to hell.) The summary: look, but don't touch...and just in case, keep a picture of your woman around as a reference point.

Difference

The teams and players negotiate with one goal
in mind: chasing the ring.

Perhaps the challenge that goes unnoticed or overlooked is the difference between the two people in a relationship. I'm a young brother raised in the suburb of Morrisville, Pennsylvania. We were not rich; my most prized possessions are my mustache, charm, and my unparalleled optimism. However, in my relationship, I've found the elements that make me most unique are also the things that make me most difficult to deal with (mustache excluded). 

Attempting to co-exist with a person who you love but views many things differently takes work. Compromise and maturity become your best friends; respect is forced into your repertoire. Without those traits, you repeatedly run into the same hurdles that have pained many other upstart relationships; I guess it's the everyday people equivalent of the rookie wall.

Though I have run into a few of these challenges, my team and I are enjoying a productive season. As my career goes forward, I am looking to improve my skill set (compromise, understanding, providing) and take this franchise to the playoffs. With many players joining the league only to get paid (laid), there is a great opportunity for me to become Rookie of the Year.

Ceddy P

More Confessions...

Confessions of a Big Dreamer: It's a Thin Line Between Cute and Sexy

Confessions of a Big Dreamer: It's a "Root" Point

For more on writer Cedric Perry and "Confessions of a Big Dreamer", like the page at www.facebook.com/cedsconfessions. Also, follow us on twitter @cedsconfessions.