War of Words: The Impact of Your Lexicon

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me."

Who created that phrase? Slap yourself. Names, and on a broader scale words, carry the power to unite leaders of countries, empower races, motivate youth, and foster growth. If used incorrectly, isn't is possible to hurt someone? Try this experiment (if you dare to be so bold): the next time you are around a couple having an argument, scream out "b$@ch!" near the female arguing. For safety, throw your voice like a ventriloquist and make it seem like the boyfriend is doing it. The word not only hurts her, it might hurt HIM. 

Words carry more weight than people believe.

As a writer and linguist (fancy word I used to use on the ladies in '05), I've had incredible experiences with words and they create resounding effects. My lexicon has provided me opportunities professionally and socially that I only could have dreamed of. In addition, it put me in positions to listen to how others speak and write, which gives one a different perspective on how to address and converse with varying personalities. Speaking with people from different backgrounds and generations gives you the chance to try and learn how certain expressions affect them. It's so important to understand. Commonly we use the cliché, "Actions speak louder than words." Possibly, but our words don't have an "inside voice". In my dealings, I've discovered the degree, tonality, and timing of our speeches and writings are the biggest factors in getting the point across. The slightest shift in any of these could drastically alter the point you were attempting to make.

Degree

Only recently did it become apparent that a person's expression possessed levels of...intensity. Ladies, think of a time you were dressed up around a guy you were attracted to. You've got everyone gawking over you, but you want to hear a compliment from HIM. Let's hear option 1:

"You look nice."

Ok, that's...cool. He acknowledged you, but nothing to write home about. If his compliment was dressing on a salad, I'd ask for a little more. Now here's compliment 2:

"You look...amazing."

MMMMM! Amazing? I, umm HE, wants you. Statements like the previous are just minor examples of the enormous difference between 2nd and 3rd degree. There is an incredible difference of being asked on a date and responding "Yes" and "maybe"; telling a person "I'm 5 minutes away," and "I'm here"; "I REALLY like you a lot" and "I love you."

Tonality

Comedian Howie Bell performed a bit about the "Humble Voice" you use for your mean grandmother when asking for something. If you talked to grandma in the wrong tone, you would get that double pump backhand that looks something like this. The reference serves as a point showing that proper delivery is a necessity; knowing your audience and what tone to use establishes the tempo for the conversation. I'm sure you've heard these agressive phrases (directly or indirectly) in response to a bold statement: "Excuse you?!", "Yo...who you talking to?", and my personal favorite, "First off...watch your tone". Inversely, when a person is trying to make an important point, and beating around the bush or using their "humble voice", the audience is often compelled to retort, "Put some bass in your voice," "Just say what you're feeling," or "Say it with your chest!"   It is important to be mindful of the person we are speaking to/about, speak with confidence in our opinion, and still remain open to the perspective of the next man.

Timing

You start doing all that talking, getting loose with
your technique and SHAPIYOW! 

Timing isn't just key; it's the whole door. When I was a sprout enamored with WWE wrestling, I went berserk when my favorite stars dropped the signature move (aka the finisher) on the bad guy out of nowhere. Or so it seemed that it was out of nowhere; legends like The Rock and Hulk Hogan (for the older crowd) waited until you got cocky and loose with your mechanics. You start celebrating early and then BAM! You just got the Rock Bottom. The greats sought the right moment and pounced, and the strategy for delivering a message or sharing an incredible story is similar.

"When you do it" is essential to "how you do it". Many think that timing is always synonymous with waiting, a myth that is completely false. Timing means finding a period conducive to your action or statement. To find these periods we can wait, but we also can CREATE them. 

Setting up environments that allow you to ease into your words are of benefit to you and your audience. It's like Jamie Foxx says, "Heyyyyy...girl, get comfortable!"

So remember, your words are soldiers. They are here to serve and protect, but if not used correctly they can harm. If I can add any other suggestions to keep your words valuable, try to keep your breath fresh (that can really make a person stop listening), spell correctly or use "spellcheck", and smile. A smile can tip the scale favor. Word up.

For more on Cedric and "Confessions", go to www.facebook.com/cedsconfessions and follow on twitter @cedsconfessions.