Bohemian Rhapsody: My Bahaman Lessons

It was everything I expected.

When Raymond Bracy, head writer of We're Just Talking, and his fiance' Jamie Robinson, announced they would be taking their talents to Miami and the Bahamas for the wedding of the year, I knew only good can come of this. Combining the smooth environment of Miami, home of (Chris Brown voice) beautiful people, and the Bahamas and its warm water and friendly natives would be perfect. It was evident the trip required a sound mind, a dashiki, and a nickname that properly depicted the hilarity that would ensue. The cast of characters was a combinatinon of unique personalities: Y.M.e?, a few Omegas, George Bush (inspiration of my "Al Gore" character), and a eclectic group of females known as "The Ghetto 4". This is not to mention my Dean, Crystal, and Amanda's fine as...umm, self. With the wild personalities, only one word captured how foolish this trip would be: Ignorance. Hence forth, we all prepared ourselves for a voyage known as "Bohemian Ignorance".

When the Dashikis come out...

In the days prior to the trip, slight doubt crept into my mind; with suspect weather due to occur. Arriving in Miami changed all that however; the shuttle to my hotel rejuvenated my excitement. For those who have never visited South Beach, everyone is beautiful there (I saw a homeless girl that had some "thangs"...she was kind of tough.) Well the beauty came to me on this day. I sat in the back seat staring out the window when a incredibly attractive young lady boarded the shuttle.

Though she was the exact opposite of everything I'm interested in, she was beautiful. Eyeing her sandy brown skin with long hair running down her back, she appalled and intrigued me at the same (d*mn) time. To humor myself, I decided to flirt with her. Brief dialogue provided me her name; she went by the African name Kenya, which was mind-blowing because she was Puerto Rican. By the time the driver reached my hotel, enough convo had ensued to satisfy me. Kenya and I went our separate ways, and I checked in to prepare for a wonderful evening with my friends. Miami would serve as a great appetizer for the sail to the Bahamas. After participating in a brotherhood cigar smoke with my line brother, we met with the bride and groom and commemorated the event by partying up and down Ocean Dr. Our travels resulted in brain freezes, stumbling into a local Alpha, and learning Bachata (aka "the dance of love".)

The following day we boarded the large cruise vessel en route to paradise, christening our trip with a lovely ceremony uniting my close friend Ray and his bride. As one of the best men, (my line brother Devyn being the other) I witnessed first hand the joy, beauty, and exhilaration that a man and woman experience when finding the one they love. The wedding was a truly a sight to behold, a great way to end the sweet section of our trip. As the boat set sail, the ignorant portion of our travels commenced. With such events as Karaoke, White Party, and a trip to a private island providing strong material, our respective factions offered classic moments during the trip. From subtle moments like "The Re-birth of Baby Hair" and "The Electric Cigarette" to the white girl auditioning for the "Twerk Team", the cruise never had a dull moment. 

Perhaps the most intriguing storyline however, was the friendly rivalry occurring between Y.M.e? and the aforementioned "Ghetto 4," which included a hired hitman known up and down the East Coast as simply "Sass". My team and I would engage in outlandish encounters with this female crew, resulting in such antics as Ray getting the sauce smacked out of him, TG4 member Kaysia falling asleep on the beach, and Dev being Dev. 

The trip was truly one of the greatest experience I've ever had. Cruising the seas with my best friends, watching two young souls take the next big step in their lives, and meeting great people was just what the doctor ordered. It was a perfect moment, a feeling of ecstacy; I guess you could call it a "rhapsody".