Skip to main content

Black Celebrity Charm School: How to be Black, Cool, Famous AND Morally Sound

Many feel success is tied to certain elements. For me, it starts with couth. Yes, my friends, couth; a seldom used word which, like money, all of us could use but few have. For those unfamiliar with the unusual term, here is a definition.

couth/ko͞oTH/

Adjective:
Cultured, refined, and well mannered.
Noun:
Good manners; refinement

As a youth, my parents, godparents, extended family and friends instilled in me great values and manners. Now attempting to become a prominent member of both entertainment and African-American community, I am continually reminded to retain said couth when my goals are accomplished. Two of the most...vocal people about this are my coworkers and friends, Kim and Kenya. Through their own research they have observed celebrities past and present, near and far, young and old who have gone by the waste side. For whatever reason they view me as a young man with potential, so they have provided me with some guidelines for when that big break arrives. 

Everyone hates on Nick Cannon,
but who doesn't like "Drumline"?
When Kim and Kenya gave me these pointers, my first thoughts were of the numerous Black celebrities ( male celebrities in particular) who had the world but became, as Usher says, caught up! While we won't name them, many of them share similar downfalls. Secondly I think of my mother, who is highly critical of some of our most famous personalities for their "selective" dating. While there are negative examples, there are many positive role models such as Barack and Michelle Obama, Will Smith, and John "Pops" Witherspoon from the Friday series. Though I'm being facetious about the last example, these peoples (along with friends and family) helped me compiled an outline that gives structure to current and future black personalities on proper behavior. With these moves (and these grooves), you CAN succeed!

1. Keep 2 logical people (aka "Haters") in your crew- It's important to maintain some sanity in your life. When you become powerful and/or wealthy, people will tell you anything in an effort to remain on your good side. "Make a song about kool-aid, man...they will love it," and similar statements come from co-signers, and only a true hater can counteract such stupidity. 

2. Don't do drugs (Especially Crack Rocks)- No substance abuse is supported by the Pick 6/We're Just Talking brand, but we REALLY don't like crack. Crack is that stuff that have you outside in your drawers singing "Ain't Too Proud To Beg"...the Temptations AND TLC versions. Leave drugs alone. It's taken too many of our greats.

3. Get you a good woman (Preferably a Black woman)- Y'all know what I like: Brown skin, no big hair, educated, and a little edge (but not enough to start fights in the club). It's nothing like a sister; who else can relate to you and quote your favorite cult movies?  Now for those who like to get exotic, Puerto Rican is allowed, but she must have documented proof of at least 3 acts of prejudice against her. Let's not stretch too much further, fellas.

4. Leave the brother with the priors/misdemeanors at home- Hey man...I know; it sounds rough. You used to talk about making it big and bringing everyone with you. Sharing the wealth is great, but never should it occur at the risk of you and your family's well-being. If there is a friend who always causes trouble or even worse problems with the law, they have to GO.

5. Designated Driver/Groupie Handler/Mediator- Put them on the payroll as "Social Event Coordinator". Their job is to keep the celebrity away from the surrounding EVILS. Despite what Eddie Murphy said in "Vampire in Brooklyn", evil is not good. 

6. Be accountable for your actions- Everyone makes mistakes, and it's best to own up to them right away. I'm sure your PR person will tell you to dress the story up, but the truth shall set you free. It looks so much worse when you lie. 

Now honorable mention includes staying away from strip clubs, refraining from racial/homophobic slurs, and avoiding commercials about chicken, but these 6 are truly a step in the right direction. Though this blog was written in good fun, please realize the difficulties in becoming and remaining a person of prominence. Try not to judge completely; Jessie Jackson once said, "Never look down on someone unless you're helping them up."

Leave your tips and suggestions for Celebrity Etiquette! 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Adventures of Captain Save-a-Ho, America's Most Misunderstood Hero

"Dude, hear me out: they gave Batman one, Thor, even Captain America...when's BLANKMAN getting a new film? You know he deserves it." Al Gore, 'We're Just Talking' While the quote was originally written for comedic purposes, I admit to privately celebrating the less popular and promoted superheroes of my time and before. Great protectors such as Colossus (first superhero with a high top fade), The Flash, and my favorite...Meteor Man, were commonly overlooked while guys like Batman and Superman soaked up the limelight. Buried even further below these 'underground' heroes however lies a figure that serves and protects more commonly than any of the previously mentioned figures, and NEVER gets the respect a defender of their credentials. They've saved more people than all of the Justice League members combined and never needed an alter ego; they simply go by the name of "Captain Save-a-Ho".  Though speaking in a mildly facetio...

Kanye West- Paranoid ft. Mr. Hudson

"Paranoid" is a song by American hip hop recording artist Kanye West, released March 24, 2009 as the fourth and final single from his fourth studio album, 808s & Heartbreak (2008). The song was co-produced with Jeff Bhasker and Plain Pat, while co-written by the three along with Consequence and Kid Cudi. The original version of the song, which appears on the album, features Mr Hudson, an English R&B/alternative rock singer who had recently been signed to West's GOOD Music label.

"What's Up, Youngblood?": A Deeper Look At The Old School Player

They are found pretty much everywhere: at the supermarket, on the second floor at your job, and especially at family reunions. Though conspicuous in nature, this species is easy to spot. No I'm not talking about roaches, you heathen; I'm talking about the "Old School Player", aka a "piiimmmmp". Now it is important to differentiate between an Old School Player and a man who is simply "old school". My father, known affectionately as Charles Perry (please say the full name), is old school; he has traditional values, rough hands, and watches westerns like "Gunsmoke". An Old School Player (O.S.P) is different; they are commonly outlandish, shifty, and laugh really weird. These well-tenured romeos carry great influence on the youth of America, specifically young males. Coming into contact with old school playas brings guys to a critical transition in life: the older men become an example for their younger counterparts. Gentlemen decide f...