Did I Do That (A Bachelor's Deepest Thoughts) (Originally posted on 9/30/2010)

Hello everyone. I come to you with a heavy heart today, as I’ve learned of the loss of my great grandmother and family matriarch, Marion Hawkins. She’s been a great influence to me and many others; I actually named the fictional university in my novel “Homecoming” after her last name. You were a truly remarkable woman, and I pray that all that were touched by your spirit continue to display your teachings.

Steven Q Urkel may have overdone it,
but the brother cared.

Today I chronicle my days as a bachelor. While a number of brothers enjoy the freedom and multitude of dating options, this guy prefers dating exclusively. The trust and consistent companionship are great, and the partnership aspect inspires me. As a result, I do my best writing in a relationship. Recently, however, my single status is intact, despite my best attempts to break free J.

My original hypothesis for my “singularity” was that, in comparison to many men my women of interest have dated before, I’m “too nice”. I smile, crack jokes; being romantic is a honor, not a chore. If being naïve for a moment, I’d say there are women who don’t value those qualities until they mature. Funny thing is that we were always told women mature faster than men, so I figured I’d come back in style, like light skinned brothers. Like them, I’m still waiting lol.

I don’t fret though. One, I’m fairly handsome. You can’t rely on critical thinking if you’re butt ugly. Secondly, I believe in the common theory, “Jerks get girlfriends, and Good guys get wives.” Now it doesn’t apply in every case, but we can be honest and say that there is a niche market for A-Holes, Pretty Boys, Tough Guys, and well...“thugs”.  I’m not wired like that. I don’t want to act tough; I smile in my pictures.

While my “Too Nice” premise may indeed hold to be true, there is a side of me that believes my “baccalaureate” of sorts has been earned because of my misconduct during my own relationship. No, I NEVER cheated, and NEVER hit my woman, but as some females will attest to, there are less tangible actions that are just as bad. In my last relationship, beautiful in appearance and personality, and loved me to death.

I also am a bachelor, minus the baby hair and "Ultraperm"
chemicals.

I loved her also, but did not give her the attention she needed and deserved. I was young and dumb, and prioritized improperly, learning firsthand the cardinal sin of relationships: allowing your partner to question their status as “numero uno” in your life. As a result, love was lost, and it’s my belief that partly because of me, she’s deserted her big heart, choosing her career goals over the opportunity to find love again, similar to the way I behaved. Funny how the tables turn (turn…turn…Monica feat Missy Elliot lol)

So now I continue to pay for my love crimes, through her and new females I come in contact with. A lesson was learned, but now I pray that one of these days, I’ll get out on good behavior.