No, Do NOT 'Obey Your Thirst': The Problem With "Cyberpimping" and How To Avoid It.

In 2013, with the number of successful, beautiful, and eligible ladies still being in men's favor, brothers continue to embarrass themselves in an effort to secure women's affection.

I blame Sprite.

For years, the popular soda brand acted as an accomplice in men being overly hype in their pursuit of females. They urged us to show no discretion and tact in our approach with the utterance of three simple words: "Obey Your Thirst". While the catch phrase helped  Sprite (and its parent brand, Coca-Cola) acquire buku billions, it led many a gentleman to the proverbial waste side. Over time, this quote has been taken out of context and influenced men to allow their sexual and emotional desires to steer their line of thinking, an action that can result in catastrophic consequences.

(In the voice of Rakim) Thinking of a
thirsty text...

Though my reference to Sprite is made in jest, I am genuine in my concern for some of my gender's behavior when looking to attract a female. As a man, I myself use (excuse me, past tense USED lol) some...exotic methods to show my affection to women that struck my fancy. The issue however lies in males engaging in activities of thirst. Thirst (aka hype, trolling) is an excessive, unnecessary attempt to gain the attention of the opposite sex or object of desire. Women can be thirsty too, but due to lack of confidence and knowledge, men revert to these barbaric techniques quite frequently. This premise has only been aided by the wave of technology introduced over the past 30 years. Tools like text and instant messaging dramatically increased the opportunities for men to find and talk to women, but also reduced the chances of developing their personal skills. The technological advances to thirst is a direct cause of certain women becoming arrogant and self-absorbed; we created celebrities and divas from everyday citizens. As a result of  men being so hype, your average female that possesses no high-profile job or talent can "earn" thousands of followers and hundreds of likes on Instagram. 

Topping the list of "The Thirst" is a typing technique known as cyberpimping. It is a method where people attempt to improve their standing with an interest through social networking. Here is a brief list of thirst-laden comments and actions that fall into this category:

• Liking 4 + photos in a person's Facebook photo album or Instagram account in one day
• Adding comments like "Damn you look sexy", "Hit me up", anything referring to a sexy body part (breast, butt, thighs), or smiley faces under a photo (ex: Hmm... :) )
• Starting a FB chat with someone you don't talk to on the phone or in person with "Hey sexy" (or similar language)
• Following or "friending" a person you've never met because they're attractive

Don't worry...I've been parched once or twice, but it is important to remember why it's a bad idea. With so many man trying the SAME approach, women are now impervious to these written words; they have no personal touch, and in addition, you are (for lack of better term) gassing their head up. While some are able to use "cyberpimping" to their advantage (celebrities, sports stars), it can be of a detriment to you and your goal of "closing the deal". Here's a few things to consider before commenting on a photo or status:

1. Can I say this in person? This is a question with double meaning. First, do you have a chance to say  whatever you are typing in person or on the phone (where you can add facial expression and/or tone)? Secondly, do you have the (Nickelodeon) GUTS to say your comment face to face and receive that instant response?
2. How will the person of interest respond to said thirst? Prior to hitting that "post" button, consider what the reaction or comment will be, your risk and reward. In business, this technique is known as cost benefit analysis. When writing a comment of this nature, you are at the mercy of everyone who reads it. Is risking the unneeded attention worth a smiley face, "aww thanks", or "lol" in return? The likelihood of receiving a personalized message, date, or even drawers from your post should weigh on your decision to complete it.
3. Is the person worth you going so hard? This sounds rude at first glance, but it is a valid question. In the Perry family we say a phrase in reference to keeping the beauty or appeal of a woman in perspective, "You ain't Beyoncé." It means that no matter how attractive or sexy a woman is, there is no reason to place her on a pedestal; she's not Beyoncé. I am a huge proponent of treating women well and, upon her becoming yours, doing your best to make her happy. Until that moment, be wary of your attempts to shower her with love and tenderness coming off as slightly obsessive and lustful. 

In summary, let me repeat I understand WHY thirst exists; I've participated before. When the hot Puerto Rican princess post pics of her on the beach or the selfie before she heads to the club, it can be really tempting to say something. You want to try to make her smile, so she can think about you making her smile. The unfortunate truth is that you're not the only person trying to do that. If you are really interested in making her smile, do it in person; based on my experience, it carries more weight. You don't have to be thirsty in order to make an impact with the opposite sex. Be confident, calculating, and hold off on all the cyberpimping. Here's a slogan to help you: "Deny your thirst: Call her."

Ceddy P

Even though Lala is bangin', if you're not
Carmelo, what was this guy's expectations? #Thethirst