Ooh Yeah! Channeling Your Inner R&B Singer

When I retire from the television and film industry, I've decided to record an album as an R&B artist. Initially my plan was to form a group with Devyn and Garvin. We would kill "em", but I've seen every episode of Unsung and I don't want us to go out like The Temptations or Five Heartbeats. My aspirations may seem outlandish, but those familiar with the powers of rizzle and bizzle (rhythm and blues) understand the benefit of exercising your musical talent. History shows that there is a long standing intimate connection between women and singers. From Ron Isley to R. Kelly, Otis Redding to Omarion ("Touch" O, not Maybach O), Rhythm and Blues crooners leave a special effect on the ladies, one CGI can't replicate. 

As a young buck, wet behind the ears and seeking...the ladies, this fact did not sneak past me.  Let's not forget that my moniker "Ceddy P" is derived from the original drawers dropper, Teddy Pendergrass. In my brief experience as a bachelor and current role of "bae", I have witnessed many a lady fall victim to the octave ranges and ugly facial expressions of a soul singer. They're just cool people; their depictions of the trials and triumphs of love are sonnets of intimate inspiration. If you think my words are mularkey, YouTube "Love Faces" by Trey Songz and read the comments. In my honest opinion, we all have some rhythm and blues inside of us. Let's highlight the various types of "subconscious soul" for fellas; guys, identify your inner R&B artist and utilize pieces of their style to become closer with your wife, girlfriend, or panelist (because y'all just "talking").

Show your "Sweet Lady" how passionate you are
about her, as Tyrese would do.

Crooner

The "Crooner" is an all-in lover, aware of a woman's feelings and emotions. Never one to see a lady being mistreated, he steps up to be Mr. Right, or steps in to tell her she can do better. Commonly, this type is very romantic and passionate (like Peabo Bryson lol); when in the dog house, he puts his pride aside to show how much he cares. Though he can be teased for being a little too caring, the crooner will drop the beat and start crying like nobody's business. He believes every woman needs a man...with...sen-si-tiv-ity...a man like him.

Examples: Babyface, Brian McKnight, Tank, Tyrese, Keith Sweat, Luther Vandross, Lloyd

Bad Boy

Arguably the most popular of the R&B personalities, the Bad Boy is the rebellious, "I don't care" character. They have no fear of repercussions, appear unconcerned with their image, and do and say what they want. For some bad boys, they were previously clean cut media darlings, but directly or indirectly revealed their darker side. In an odd twist, their revolt increased their popularity, and they embrace it by displaying a brash and cocky attitude. Their IDGAF mantra drives ladies wild, which is just what the bad boy likes to hear.

Examples: James Brown, Bobby Brown, Chris Brown 2009-Present (Brown...Interesting), All 4 members of Jodeci

Panty Dropper

Simply put, it's about getting freaky. The Panty Dropper (PD) is uniquely designed to tap into the sexual urges of a female by creating an image so vivid she cannot resist thinking or acting in an intimate manner. While the PD can creatively spin his take on the love making experience, he can also be quite blunt about his intentions. Sometimes he may even forego the love, advocating that you and he partake in a good old bump n grind; he "don't see nothing wrong" with that. This character looks to capitalize on our wildest desire to be nasty without being judged; it takes very few ingredients to create a wow moment.

Examples: Trey Songz, R. Kelly, H-Town, Jeremih

If you're in the club or at a party, go
Usher on 'em. Old Usher...with the chain.

The Smooth Talker/Dancer

One of the first references to sex heard as a youth was, "Girls like a guy who can dance; it means he is usually good in bed." I learned how to dance real quick; you all thought I do this Boogie Time for entertainment (Just kidding; I really do try to make the people laugh and smile). When singers combine vocal supremacy with the ability to move and delight the crowd with their feet, it usually results in throbs of female fans. While it is not advised to go up to a girl and Usher Dancing (the funniest video I've watched in some time), showing her a good time in the club or whenever your are prompted to dance works in your favor. So does getting an S-Curl (kidding...kind of.)

Examples: Usher, Ginuwine, Omarion, Michael Jackson, Chris Brown (2005-2009)

The Eccentric Singer

Eccentricity is the most difficult R&B behavior to capture, replicate, and look sane. The most unique and innovative of the five, this character extracts love from places many of us would never imagine to look. Their descriptive and vivid tales generate smiles, warm hearts, and quizzical looks almost simultaneously. The eccentric singer is known to say, do, and wear things that are considered odd by most standards. Their unequivocal confidence and sense of self, however, allows them to pull these actions off. Unless this is a trait that you have already developed and mastered, please approach with caution.

Examples: Prince, Morris Day and the Time, Miguel, Musiq Soulchild, Maxwell

Dang...I wanna be Robin Thicke, too!

Honorable Mention: Blue Eyed Soul

I just really bang with Robin Thicke and Justin Timberlake; they both worked with Pharrell, and Timberlake's FutureSex/LoveSounds is...bananas. If there needs to be a correlation...girls like cool White guys.

Examples: Jon B, Michael McDonald, Robin Thicke, Justin Timberlake

So what singer are you? While we potentially share multiple personalities, each of us identifies closely with one of these categories. In an effort to be adventurous, take a look at some of the artists listed as examples and bring the singers' lyrics to life. Be sure to tailor it to your female. Some things Trey can get away with, we can't get away with, playa. We're not rich. The goal, though, is to have fun and bring adventure and excitement to your love life. Playing R&B singer for a day is a surefire way to do so.

Ceddy P

For more on writer Cedric Perry and "Confessions of a Big Dreamer", like the page at www.facebook.com/cedsconfessions. Also, follow us on twitter @cedsconfessions. 

Be sure to tune in for the return of Cedric's show, "Pick 6"! Join him for a live taping, Saturday October 20th, at 5pm at Cheyney University! Check out the trailer here!

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