Very few groups cause more stir and opinions than the African American female. In a single conversation about the "sista", you could hear the terms incredible, enduring, stuck up, loyal, independent, too dependent, loud, beautiful or captivating. To some extent, all of these are valid descriptions; meet the right one, and they can embody all of these...at the same damn time. In my experience, the best adjective to describe the black woman is unpredictable. At any moment, the black woman can turn your life upside down like pineapple cake...for better of worse.
Some men say they "understand" or "figured out" women, specifically Black women...Nah. If anything, you've dealt with a girl who hasn't developed her superpowers. She's like Luis Mendoza from Mighty Ducks: she can skate, but she hasn't learned to stop yet. Despite this, comprehending the Black woman is still a priority on the task list of guys (Black and others). This is with good reason; the opportunity to land a Beyoncè or Michelle Obama, women (or at least as they are portrayed through the media) who possess the rare combination of beauty, intellect, appreciation of their beau, and hips thicker than Jim Brown's mustache.
In search of my own information, I've discovered various personality types of the Sista. Though still learning how to best interact with these temperaments, there are a number of intracicies involved with each, resulting in pros and cons of each disposition. Let's look at a few of the faces of the Black Woman.
Dora the Explorer
Often in school or taking classes, this Sista is in the midst of transition. She is unique because she is personable and fun to be around; her goal is to get her priorities in order and enjoy herself simultaneously.
Cons: Her priorities will ALWAYS come before you, even those you feel are not necessarily are important. This includes her girlfriends, who will tell her, "He's so nice!" but never assist in securing this ethopian queen. Sorry...just watched Def Poetry Jam.
Pros: When (If) she ever decides she's ready, she'll be all in, like Leonard Washington at the World Series of Dice. Patience is truly a virtue here, because for all the reward you will receive if you stick in there, it's REALLY hard to stick in there. Imagine being a Clippers fan, before Blake Griffin. You're never sure if they are going to commit.
Summary: The Dora the Explorer is a wonderful woman, if you can catch them. Like Dora, they are fun loving and bring more excitement than Slim Jims. Unfortunately, they are always looking for something, and it is challenging to convince them love will be right here.
Mary J. Blige
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| MJB is a model of street savvy and cool, enveloped by elegance. |
The category of woman named for the R&B songstress are an intriguing bunch, a group whose primary trait of appeal was one once considered detrimental to them and others. The Mary J. Blige woman is...well, hood. Now do not jump to immediate conclusions; though "hood" is a charged word, it does not mean negative. It should not be confused with "ghetto" or "ratchet", which are terms that represent being sub par, ignorant, and mediocre. "Hood" signifies that you are from an area that requires the utmost intelligence, heart, and drive to arise out of.
Being from the "hood" often provides these women with an air of toughness rivaled by few and far between. Ironically, this trait (when developed and surrounded by education and love) can be one of the sexiest characteristics you'll ever find. It is named after Blige, because she symbolizes experiencing the pain and heartache associated with life and love, and having the aptitude to overcome it.
Cons: Unadulterated, unfiltered, or untrained "Hood" from a female can result in a terrible relationship, public embarrassment, domestic disputes, or all three. The Mary J Blige never has a problem expressing herself, and it can cause a number of issues if not directed properly.
Pros: This woman is an incredible mate, mother, and conversationalist because they have witnessed and experienced life from a perspective that many just do not receive. They are street-savvy, brave, and stand beside their man. When the "Mary J Blige" reaches maturity, she becomes an incredible source of strength and inspiration. See origin of name for more.
Summary: As a Mary J. Blige (music) fan and consumer of this category (Sista), I can attest to their high level of awareness, blunt opinions, and knowledge of both style and savings. Though this behavior often results in intense "debates", no one can question the passion of this woman.
Opportunist
The Opportunist is viewed in many ways, but like the preceding types it really depends on viewpoint. Simply put, they want to enjoy success. Success, however, stands on what their principles are. For one woman, success is having a great career and financial comfort; for another, a tight knit family is the greatest of her desires. This woman is capable of doing for herself just as easy as she can join the campaign of a male to reach the top. Interestingly enough, this category features a woman that, although is not the majority, receives a bad reputation for her vision of success and her methods of obtaining it. The woman we speak of is known as the gold digger. As Jamie Foxx says, "Digger, please!" Unfortunately, this overshadows another type of opportunist, the Michelle Obama, the female who identifies greatness in a man, is drawn to it, and draws it out of him.
Cons: A relationship can be simply a formality for an Opportunist with the wrong intentions. She wants the finer things, and ANYONE who can...assist her in obtaining these materials is in the running. Her beau's shelf life lasts only as long as he improves his status.
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| The First Lady knew Barack had leader qualities well before he ran the free world. |
Pros: As stated, the Opportunist is not always a negative product. In another role, she is the coach, the Phil Jackson or Bill Belichick. She recognizes her suitor's talents and knows she can enhance him, the polish to his diamond. As most men will tell you, it is the woman who pushes him to levels unforeseen. He was aight without you, but now that you're here, he's the man!
Summary: This category's model can be quite difficult to decipher, as any woman with a few strategically placed compliments looks like a Michelle Obama. As you tune into the Democratic National Convention and go on a few dates, you find out how hard it is to snag a "Michelle Obama". By the way, go vote.
There are many other faces of the Black woman, a woman whose everyday plight to be Ford tough while maintaining the appealing side that makes them the most beautiful women in the world.
Constantly battling for respect from society, but more specifically Black men, the Sista is truly an enigma. While you may or may not fit into these categories, you present opportunities and challenges that men such as myself yearn to be a part of. Though some of our peers do not understand and therefore fear your unique ways, a large portion of us are not afraid of you. We're awaiting your arrival; we dare you to blow our house down.
Peace and Boogie,
Ceddy P
More Confessions...
For more on writer Cedric Perry and "Confessions of a Big Dreamer", like the page at www.facebook.com/cedsconfessions. Also, follow us on twitter @cedsconfessions.
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