In 2007, I was working with Y.M.e? Photography, a company that my friends and I started at our college. We started in studio photography, eventually expanding to events, but we made a name for ourselves with our model photos. In our heyday we were GOOD; G, Jeff, Rob, and I snapped a lot of classics with Devyn infusing his music genius and Ray marketing the product. One of the intangible skills that separated our photography from competitors was...we found the sexy. Looking at our old pics, it is still evident: We were able to capture the best essence of each of our models.
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| Sexy or cute? Zooeeeeee.... |
Doing so, however, would always prompt the question, "Which models were naturally sexy?", which expanded into what girls we knew were sexy and who was just cute. At first listen, it sounds like a vain and pretentious statement but there are great benefits in identifying the difference. Recognizing the stark contrast between cute and sexy allows women to maximize their beauty. The issue lies in the terminology; many females (adults period) do not prefer the term "cute". The connotation of the word is more aligned with 9 year old school girl than a woman in her prime. "She's cute" has positive implications however, and women who revel in their cuteness are much more attractive than those who try to be something they are not. So how do you decipher who is who? While it is matter of opinion, there is actually a bit of science to this answer. At first breakdown, I categorized attractive women into four categories: cute, sexy, cute girls trying to be sexy, and sexy girls trying to be cute. To reach the difference between these two definitions, let's clear away a few myths on both sides.
Cute
Myth #1. Cute = Young.
As we stated before, many people don't like to be called cute, because it's consider the lesser compliment. When used incorrectly, it can be a insult; for example, you should never call a man's car "cute". Likewise, we call a lot of things cute that are synonymous with childhood and youth, like kids, babies, dogs, etc. Despite this, cute is not necessarily young; it's more sweet, and dainty...yeah, dainty. It's an expression that references something (and in this case, someone) appealing. Because we live in a sex driven society, the initial request is for sexy; cute, however is more of an indictment of one's beauty.
Myth #2. Cute is based off personality.
Though often misconstrued, being called cute is a compliment of your physical attributes. The word cute is listed on Google is "1. Attractive in a pretty or endearing way 2. Sexually attractive." Wow...the irony. Considering all factors, being physically attractive is the definition of cute, and the root of being sexy. All sexy women are cute, but all cute women are not sexy.
Myth #3. Dressing bland limits you to being cute.
In addition to your physical stature, being called cute can also be a reference to a woman's sense of style. A plain sense of style (blouse and jeans 24-7) can immediately place you in cute jail. Again, this is an unfair stab at the cute category. Many associate sexy with skin, and those who dress less revealing are cute. The more skin you show and risk you take, the "prettier" it is. This is not true; in a number of cases, a woman can be revealing and completely turn a man off. So while you don't want to be buck-ball naked, tee and jeans is not the cute uniform. The key is not to find balance. Variety is the spice of life and a factor in being cute. The more dressier your outfits become, the more you venture into the sexy stratosphere.
Sexy
Myth #1. Sexy is synonymous with body parts.
Let's get this "thang" clear. Yes, men are very familiar with what is commonly broadcast and portrayed on television as sexy. We know what you THINK we are enamored with. Do we get a little wide eyed at an impressive pair or go Michael (a little help, Jay-Z?) at a nice backside?
Absolutely.
Are those the defining characteristics of sexy?
In my Grandma voice, hell nah...HELL NAH!
Sexy is a mindset, folks, and not one that requires many additives. To define it properly, being "sexy" is a creative thing. A sexy woman captivates people, either one at a time, whole rooms, or millions each time she graces TV or magazines. To quote Basketball Hall of Fame member Reggie Miller, they use "psychological warfare". It is quite interesting to watch, a process of sorts as a sexy woman breaks you down and leave you wanting more. You're drawn to her and enamored with her presence; when you lock eyes with her you start thinking nasty, like Trey Songz (Girl, I'm about to DIIIIIIVE FOR IT!) It's not necessarily the look (though it helps); sexy attitudes are like good cooking: it's good by itself; it don't need...no extra SEASONING!
Myth #2. To be sexy, you have to talk about sex.
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| Sexy Rihanna dropped cute Rihanna like a bad habit. |
When it comes to being sexy, less is more. To compare it to men, most knowledgeable brothers know unless your possess flawless execution when you smooth talk, shut up. We grin, smile if our teeth (or breath) are not offensive, and wait for our time to say guaranteed compliments. That's primarily because the line between (awkward moment forthcoming) cute and sexy men is much clearer to define. It's much more look-oriented. Women can say a lot before ruining a male's mood. Now if we are discussing being SEXY, it's not what you say as a lady, it's how you say it.
While some dudes like girls who talk nasty, it's nothing compared to a woman imply nasty. It's like the veal: you gotta try it (Ed. Note: You've seen on TV when someone eating at a restaurant says, "You gotta try the veal..." That's where I got that from. Okay, resume your previous activity.) She's classy; she's not going to say it crude like a rapper. Through her eyes, her rhetoric, and the power of...telekinesis, she lets you know...Bands a make her dance. Sorry, I couldn't help it.
Ladies, consider these elements and understand that neither category is negative nor permanent. The best are able to make others identify their beauty (she's cute), acknowledge their sexiness, and understand you are special enough to know when each is appropriate. Fellas, use the previously mentioned principles to help you in your dating and relationship endeavors. Cute women and sexy women require unique treatment, and to successfully interact with either of these ladies, you must be in the zone, like Ray Allen in He Got Game.
Confessions of a Big Dreamer: Who's Afraid of the Big, Bad Black Woman?
Peace and Boogie,
Ceddy P
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For more on writer Cedric Perry and "Confessions of a Big Dreamer", like the page at www.facebook.com/cedsconfessions. Also, follow us on twitter @cedsconfessions.
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