During the 2000s, The Jerry Springer show rose to stardom and changed the landscape of talk show television. Its charismatic host, enthused audience, and raunchy subjects revolutionized (for better or worse) television content and set the bar for shocking, must see tv. The Springer Show's wild segments (which ironically coincided with my years of puberty) featured fights, foul language, and of course nudity. One of the episodes I remember the most was, "I Refuse To Wear Clothes!" A topless white woman barked back at "Gerald", "Men can go shirtless and no one says anything to them! Well d*mnit, I can too", stood up and jiggled her breasts to the delight of the crowd.
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| In Spike Lee's "She's Gotta Have It", Nola Darling consistently tested the theories of double standards. |
While the ability to go shirtless is not the most debated subject, it is one of many principles known as a double standard. Known in some circles as hypocrisy, double standards shape the world we live in; their rules allow different groups to gain advantages over others. In some situations the standards force individuals into a mode of survival, which can push them to reach unseen levels of greatness or, for some, disparity.
The easiest groups to identify the conflict in is men and women. Between the two, there is a laundry list of daily actions and happenings tolerated for one sex and frowned upon for the other. For your pleasure (and to some extent, your assistance), I've categorized the double standards and allocated them to their appropriate sex. Avoid some, acknowledge all, and act accordingly.
Women Double Standards
Favorable:
Using Sex Appeal to Their Advantage- Whether it's to avoid a speeding ticket, nail a job interview from male chauvinists, or skip on paying for the dinner date, females always have an ace up their sleeve. Let's be honest: women are fine. Women are so sexy, now WOMEN are hitting on women. That's how fine they are. More importantly, most women are aware of this, and take advantage of this fact at EVERY moment possible. I remember a female telling me, I've never gotten a ticket before." It's not because you follow the law, woman; you drive dumb fast! Men don't have this ability. 1.) Our "sex appeal" is not as apparent and tangible as females. 2.) Using ours is a wide-known and well-documented method, commonly referred to as sexual harassment.
Unfavorable:
Looked Upon As Caretaker For Everyone-Women are unable to walk away from their responsibilities. If a man fathers a child and he leaves his family, it's almost...understood. Perhaps stemming from the immediate connection between a mother and her child, it is considered treason for a woman to desert her little ones. Want to take college class? Well, your baby is about to be your study buddy. Society, like Homie the Clown, "don't play dat".
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| Wouldn't be as acceptable if that was Ronny, Bobby, Ricky, and Mike...so "Cool it Now". |
Neutral:
Women can act and speak in a homosexual manner, without being considered homosexual- It happens every Friday; Saturdays too, if she's single. The ladies get together, have drinks, and the fun begins. Monday morning, your news feed is loaded with the girl you're trying to date smiles uncontrollably as her joobies are squeezed by her girlfriend. Sometimes it's just a random friend! This is just one example of the female gender pushing the limits. Girls attending female strip clubs, being in relationships with each other on Facebook, and cuddling during movie nights are a few things that "Steve" and "Tyrone" better not EVER try! The excuse for this behavior is universal ("The female body is beautiful..."); truth be told, most men don't want ANYBODY grabbing on their ladies' booty, male or female. Again it's a double standard; ladies I must admit it's really weird, but this is not a standard where heterosexual men want the same privileges as you have. Fellas, just know you probably should keep an eye on it, and it doesn't mean she's cool with a threesome.
Men Double Standards
Favorable:
Men can seek multiple romantic options without being widely considered "loose"- Folks, I'm not here to agree or disagree; my job is to state the facts. In nearly all races and ethnicities, it is acceptable for a man to pursue different options in terms of intimacy and not be looked down on. In many circles, he is praised for keeping his options open, as many men only care about getting the drawers. On the flip side, if a woman is seeing multiple men at one time (and we won't even CONSIDER being sexually active with them) she is the lowest of the low, a jezebel, a strumpet. To settle this, women have decided they too can pursue as many options as they like. Unfortunately, this makes finding true love even more difficult; I'd prefer if we just consider the males whores too.
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| The former Ms. Ochocinco can argue and fight with whomever, but 85, you got to "keep your head up." |
Unfavorable:
Men cannot express their feelings without being judged...ever- If you are ever in an argument with a female, and you are not able to find a sports channel, video game, or cartoon to calm you down...walk away. The expression of your feelings (if not done properly) can be counterproductive and detrimental to your health, relationship, and as Chad Johnson found out, your livelihood. Most men by normal standards struggle communicating...to women. This regards communicating about feelings; we can tell you when we're hungry or in the mood. When a man has been upset by his women however, it often comes out in two ways, both of which are received well by women or society. If frustrated we become overly sensitive or overly aggressive. This results in either losing the respect of our lady, or losing our temper and going too far. Both ways garner negative outcomes for the man. Women, on the other hand, will guaran-damn-tee that their feelings are known. In addition, they will not be judged, not indicted for domestic abuse. Too much "expression" from men
brings cops, loss of income, and potentially a bruise to their reputation.
brings cops, loss of income, and potentially a bruise to their reputation.
Neutral:
Men are not allowed to be bad in the bedroom- I call this a neutral, because science and, I don't know...moral support can improve a man's proficiency in this department. Generally though, a man is always to blame for a bad sexual experience. While not professed as often, men do discuss amongst themselves women being "lame" in bed. This can stem from...if I may be real...never being asked to do much, lack of experience, lack of "maintenance", or even selfishness. Nonetheless, if a man EVER blamed a woman out loud for his poor performance, he would be laughed at and embarrassed, forced to leave his home and sell crack rocks in his community. The last part is obviously made up, but it IS that bad; where is the accountability? Women on the contrary are able to dismiss their involvement, with a two finger gesture describing the size of one's manhood. This is not an option afforded to men; do your duty, or embellish like your life depended on it.
These are just a few of the modern day contradictions between our beloved genders. Let us share these and other double standards with the opposite sex in hopes of building better relationships with each other. If anything, let's find ways to improve these areas. I'd hate to believe that when it comes to standards, it's double or nothing.
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