We really should study Man Laws in school.
In addition to the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, the principles which hold up the bond between boys should be covered after U.S. History. Man Laws, also know as Guy Code, are the unwritten rules that the male species use as guidelines for successful living. They cover many elements, including money an relationships, and keep "bros" in line. Unfortunately, since these laws are unwritten, they are often left up to (mis)interpretation. With all the confusion, it's time to do some manscaping (ilk, not like that.) Let's clear up a few of the more important man laws.
Pay Me Back
One of the quickest ways to dissolve a friendship amongst the fellas is an unpaid loan. People work hard out here! Girls may do it for "the love of Ray J", but many men (many, many, many, many men) do it for the love of money. Anyway, we work hard, and our paycheck is our biggest source of reward. This means those who we loan money to are VERY VERY important.
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| If you can cop new clothes, you can pay what you owe. |
In this time of financial struggle, I think a lot of you to loan money. My belief is however, that you are a person of high morale and that you will pay back your debts...in a timely fashion. The contradiction of that belief will make me think differently of you, especially if you like to come around and 1.) do not have a timeframe for said payment and 2.) you speak about doing things that cost money.
Example: "Aww man, did you see Batman yet? It's crazy!" The movies cost $15 and popcorn cost $10. Where's my thirty dollars, buster?
Friendships have ENDED over money situations. This is our petty situation; we don't argue over girls. Well...
Don't Be Too Friendly With My Lady (Past or Present)
This is one of the most controversial and ironically least discussed man laws in the history of manhood. I actually heard Jesus had to get at Peter for being too close with Mary Magdalene. That's all hearsay though. Because men are supposed to be beings of little emotion and sensitivity, we rarely express things that are bothersome. If something is annoying to us, we are supposed to downplay it or if that serious, address it physically. As a grown man however, you can't be fighting like you don't have responsibilities; secondly, you don't fight friends. But what if a friend is a little too friendly with a woman you have a past with? What if he is too friendly with your current lady, or a girl you're talking to? You can't express it to the girl; she won't understand. She will deem you insecure, and say he's just being friendly. Women, a moment of honesty: men flirt with intent. Men flirt because we like what we see, women flirt because it's Friday. Since this common knowledge amongst the brotherhood, a man is quite perturbed to see his boy all "Jokey-joke" with a woman the friend KNOWS he cares about.
Now men, we can't claim every woman we've ever glanced at. Shineka that laughed at your joke that one time does not count. So who is off limits? The research department developed a formula.
FB (fall back)= x+2
x- actual number of girlfriends
+2 - special girls that got away, that you really liked, but you're "over" now
If you're a true friend, a true MAN for that matter, don't be that close with your boy's past. One, he's not gonna "bang with you anymore"; secondly, he may put toothpaste on his knuckles and BUST you in the mouth.
Never Speak Badly About Your Boy in Front of People Unfamiliar With Him
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| The urinal rule is another one of the man laws to always follow, like preserving your boy's reputation, |
On my team, Y.M.e?, no one is above being ridiculed or embarrassed...in front of each other. The rules are out the window, because each of us is capable of not only receiving, but dishing as well. Unfortunately, the chiding continues in front of company. There is only one place we are really safe, and that is in front of people unfamiliar with the "product".
Example: Dev. Devyn is my best friend, fraternity brother, and fellow Y.M.e? member. Is the Artist still known as Nerdboy eccentric? Yes. But it is the code, established centuries ago by Frederick Douglass and his 6th cousin, Cedric Douglass (made up), that we never talk about someone behind their back. More specifically, you do not desecrate your homie's name to people who aren't cool with them. They should develop their own feelings about them, and honestly...who are you? Your boy's reputation is an extension of you, so you treat it as your own.
The Man Laws extend much further, but these are just a few of the more frequently used rights. As you hang out with the team, party with the bruhs, or represent your team as an individual, remember these lessons; speak and act accordingly.
For more on writer Cedric Perry and "Confessions of a Big Dreamer", like the page at www.facebook.com/cedsconfessions.Also, follow us on twitter @cedsconfessions.
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