The following blog is not meant to demean or offend any one of any race. It was written with the pure intent to entertain and identify ways for people of all colors and creeds to all work together.
-Ced
Recently a follower sent me a trailer on the controversial trailer, "Dear White People", a creative project from screenwriter Justin Simien which humorously details the taboo subjects that cause tension between Whites and Blacks. The clip was spot on, questioning such topics as the required amount of blacks in a white crew, the notion of listening to "Black" music serving as validation, and touching our hair. The video doesn't appear to be aimed at demeaning our white brethren; it was simply highlighting that the two races just think differently. Michael Jackson said it best in the unreleased track "Carousel":
"She's from a world of popcorn and candy/Pony rides for a dime/little children laughing.../I'm from a world of disappointment and confusion."
Most of us are from different places, parents reared us differently; the whole nine. Knowing this, it's important to talk a little bit to help improve our interactions. Commonly we avoid this; some white people think if they talk about race, they'll get beat up...maybe, depends on your tone. Black people often avoid this discussion also: we want to keep our jobs. In my years in Morrisville, PA I performed NUMEROUS clinical Caucasian studies and highlighted a few areas of opportunity. So in an entertaining way, I want to address some additional points that could help my white friends (known as Bro-sephs) in their conversations with my brothers and sisters. Please note that these tips are for the casual white friend (schoolmate, coworker, gym partner, churchgoer, etc...); the long term white friend has already overcome this.
1. Black People Require Personal Space
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| Note the happiness on the face inside the bubble. |
African Americans are huge on having a minimum of two feet of space between them and the next person in any direction. Some use "the box"; others prefer a circle, but we cannot function properly with a person standing too close to us (unless instructed to do so). It is reported that all of us come out the womb with an invisible boundary sphere, copy of TI's "You Don't Know Me", and a sign reading "No my brother, now eassssssse up!" Without getting too racial, this behavior dates back to our days as slave where, in an effort to stay alive, we were forced to be very cautious and secretive.
So we kept our distance and do not divulge in much information about our daily lives. It's nothing against you white friends, we just don't roll like that. So don't stand so close to me in line at the bank and understand me if I don't want to talk about my intimate relationship with my woman with you. Don't want you visualizing about her body, Jim.
2. Black People Don't Curse Inside Our Parents House
Two weeks ago, my little brother brought his co-worker from the health food store over. After he sits down, my brother tells him a supervisor was holding everyone up from leaving. His response?
"F$%in Douchebag."
Boy, what in the hell is your problem? We don't curse freely in here. You better censor yourself! I mean, my GOODNESS; I was straight appalled. While it is true that Black People are by far the best cursing race (we do so much with so little), we ALL know not to curse in the house, ESPECIALLY our parents house. It's called code-switching; it was a principle emphasized by W.E.B DuBois that states you adjust your dialect to suit your environment. If you are so blessed to come over your black friend's house, please don't curse. You have to have some type of awareness of where you are.
3. Most Blacks Do NOT Act Like The Ones You See on TV
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| Please don't mistake the two... |
Ceddy P+ (Family and Friends) X Any woman I've ever dated ≠ Love + Hip Hop
We just don't act like that. We may WATCH it, some of us may subconsciously possess some of their traits, but not the majority. As a matter of fact, many of us act the exact opposite of the images portrayed on television. In addition to it being corny, we would have even more difficulty getting good jobs. Can you imagine that?
"Cedric, who would you like to list as your emergency contact?"
"Umm...put my baby mama. She cares."
While we must work on not allowing ourselves to be shown in this manner on television, let me reassure you that if you that there are a large number of African Americans who can read, articulate, do not owe back child support, and have no priors.
4. Black People Love Their Celebrities
Maybe it's because we don't have a lot of them. Perhaps it's they come from our neighborhoods. It's even possible that we just love the fact that we have a celebrity cool enough to garner your attention. Whatever it is, the Black community clings to our black brother or sister that elevates to the top of their respective field, cherishing them and their accomplishments. We adore them, to the point we often disregard their erratic behavior because of their talent. For me it was Allen Iverson. I felt as strong about AI as Terrell Owens did Tony Romo. That was my teammate...(cries)my shooting guard. Until I was in my 20s and Iverson's career in the NBA began to dwindle, you could not pay me to look at him in a bad light. Now as a mature adult I realize he did not always help his situation, but when a young black child finds favor in a star he believes in them. We don't want your negativity. Stars like Iverson and Owens, and music artists like Michael Jackson, R. Kelly, and more recently Chris Brown are crucified by the mass for their abnormal behavior and criminal (some accused) history. In the Black community their talents offers them second chances, as we consider them to be persecuted at a higher level because of their color. For the sports stars, they are bigger than the team; most times we only really like the player. Note the spike in Miami Heat fans since LeBron James' addition. Think of it like this: We like our celebrities like you enjoy your baseball teams.
5. We Really Respect White People Who Know Their Music
When I say you know your music, I don't mean you quote NWA lyrics . Knowing your music means you are cultured enough to great music of the past and also offer music that I may not even know about. It's really cool to find out about different types of songs because music (along with sports and food) is one of the few things that most people enjoy. It is commonly perceived that Black people feel White people are being fake when they sing songs by Black artists. This is not true. Music now transcends race; we have white rappers, just like we have Black pop singers. We just don't like it when the music is used as an excuse for White people to say the n-word. Honestly, why is that word so desirable to y'all?
6. Black People are Not Always Angry
We are very...expressive people. We can be loud, passionate, in your face, "air grabbing" (the move when a female is moving her hands during an argument, in a grabbing motion), but it does NOT always mean we are angry. This is important because commonly we want to tell a person how we feel, but it is misconstrued as going postal. To avoid this scenario (and possibly being fired, embarrassed, or both)
we suppress our feelings, which often leads to people walking all over us and/or we become disgruntled. It's just an issue where we need to work out the kinks of communication.
In conclusion, white friends are alright with me. Shout out to my homies from Pennsbury, Ponza and them, all my people from the Bake, and my current coworkers, because they're cool too. If we can continue to highlight the similarities and grasp the differences, we're onto something. To finish, I leave you with the great comedian Bernie Mac.
For more on writer Cedric Perry and "Confessions of a Big Dreamer", like the page at www.facebook.com/cedsconfessions.
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