The Nice Guy Rules

"Nice guys finish last." What a hogwash statement.

Seriously; it's baloney, maybe even pastrami. Through entertainment, business, and romance, the belief is that a man with etiquette and morals is one with diseases, like the measles or swine flu. When you turn on your television or read your news...kindle, you witness arrogant, womanizing egomaniacs praised as charismatic men with undeniable "swagger". Men who are interested in helping others and making people enjoy themselves are undervalued. The result is young men trying too hard. These men, known as "Nice Guys", are seen as sweet people who are great to know and make you laugh, but are OFTEN over looked for men who...use less effort to receive approval. As a teen and in my early college years, I played into this. It's such a weird feeling; you become enamored with doing right by people, as if it determines whether people will like you. Half the time, if you are "too" nice, people try to take advantage of you. 

But this article is not a pity piece. This article is to reaffirm the man whose "mama taught you better", whose manhood lies in his impact on his family and community, not his sexual conquests. As the self-titled "Martin Luther King" of good guys, allow me to say being nice is NOT the equivalent of being weak. Though you (the nice guy) are equipped with values and standards, you also have confidence, anger, and hormones like anyone else. Yes we wear glasses, but all that means is (if you act ignorant) we will dropkick you with good aim. Ladies, nice guys often wear ties, but that is not a sign of vulnerability; that means during intimacy, you can be "sexy ninja warrior". The main point of this piece, however, is to help my fellow gentlemen come full circle. The following is crucial to highlight all of your talents in an effort to avoid the usual stereotypes and reap the rewards you greatly deserve. I was allowed to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land.

The Nice Guy Rules Part 1

1. USA (Understand, Strategize, Attack)

Nice Guy, you are cut from a different cloth. In the words of urban philosopher Lil Wayne, you are not the same, you are a martian. Though you possess similar wants as most men such as respect, attention, and love, your approach to obtain them is completely different. Often you prefer to utilize your intangible skills (charisma, loyalty, hard work) over your obvious traits. So while you may be a handsome guy, your audience tends to focus and compliment you on being sweet, or hilarious, etc. There is nothing wrong with this; it actually can work in your favor. Just be sure to understand this, and not whine about vain compliments. Secondly, these traits you possess are not always appreciated by the majority of society. You're like fine wine; some people like a 40 Oz...it happens! Your good qualities, however, are appreciated more when accompanied by one or more of these three elements: prominence, wealth, or a hot woman. Please remember that statement. When you have (or people think you have) those things, people pay attention. Need examples? Barack Obama, Will Smith, Jay-Z...MMMM! Got 'eem. 

If you understand your personality and your immediate impression on people, you can create a strategy to market yourself in the best manner. Nice guys are known for being about their business; this is your "business suit". The nice guy strategy includes cleaning up your physique, finances, and insecurities (which we will discuss shortly). Pick up a GQ or Men's Health magazine, preferably with someone on the cover you relate to. There's some good tips in there, and they cover things we like (sports, money, sex, etc.). Watch some grown-up movies. These are entertaining ways to locate accessories and conversation topics that you want to add to your life. Mainly, you are trying to create a signature style that people can see without you having to tell them what it is. Write that one down too. 

After that, it's time to get out there and attack. Try your new clothes out at work and gauge the responses. Tell a joke to the hot taken chick at work, and see if she jumps on it (Don't follow up though; don't be a heathen lol). When you feel comfortable, step to the slimmy you've had your eye on. Remember you all are equals and don't over do it. Give her attention, but let her show she's interested too; don't wanna be a sweatbox.

2. Get yourself a theme song.

"You already know what it's hitting for...

As stated earlier, you're different; you have to do different things. You have to believe (but not necessarily express) you're the man! In being "the man", you need a THEME SONG. While it sounds over the top, consider the benefits. What you hear affects how you feel, impacting what you do. The vibrations triggers messages sent to the brain; it's called the Auditory System, look it up! The right song boosts your confidence and helps you retain your strategy. 


Pick a song that gives you the boost to finish strong; it's like Gatorade for your ears. My theme song is "Excuse Me Miss" by Jay-Z featuring Pharrell (don't forget Pharrell). I play this song before headed to meetings, dates, and Pick 6 shows. I feel the world is mine; shoot, I could have pulled Beyonce after listening to this. 

3. Be Quiet.

In filming, tasks are split into two categories known as pre-production and post-production. It's pretty much self-explanatory, but pre-production deals with setup/organizing prior to a performance, while post-production is handled afterwards. Steps 1 and 2 are pre-production, but this step is after the show ends. So what do I mean by "Be Quiet"? Well nice guys...sometimes we say TOO much. Because a large number of us are very good at communicating and speaking, we use our words when really our actions are needed. This is most common in dating and relationships. How many "Ms. Rights" (or even hot chicks) have you lost by getting all emotional and telling her how you feel WAY too early? There's a time and place for everything. As Chris Rock explained in Bigger and Blacker, no woman likes a Yakkety Yak man. Yes clarity in a dating situation is great; no one wants to waste time. The way to counter that without ruining your rep is define what you want and hold your ground. If a woman does like you and feels SECURE that you are able to deal with her flaws and all, you'll get your shot. Whether you make it is on YOU.

To summarize the info given above, it is important to be comfortable with who you are, and command respect by SHOWING your worth as opposed to...well trying to buy it. If you don't, your boss will over work and under pay, your (future) kids will curse you out, and the "girl of your dreams" will be the "girl of another man's reality". Make people like you for who you are and not what you do for them, and you won't finish last, you'll be laughing instead.