I hate my favorite football team. No, I'm serious. For nearly half of my life, the Washington Redskins have occupied my heart as the team I root for. My mother hails from Washington, DC, and I have fond memories of visiting my uncles, aunts, and cousins who bleed the burgundy and gold. When my Uncle Charlie passed, they created a display of Skins memorabilia to stand next to his casket (*Lil Wayne voice* It's real). Despite the love and support that myself and fans show the franchise, we have not seen any parts of consistency since the early 90s. I'm 25 years old, the last Super Bowl win was in 1991; I was 5...5, dog.
Lately, it's been the same old same old. We win some games early, people get excited, Wale comes on TV to discuss are the Skins "for real", and then the Hogs let us down. Come on, man! We're tired! We're weary! Every time we lose, the same Trey Songs melody rings in my head; "The things you do...make me wanna cheat on you!" My family lives in a market dominated by Eagles, Giants, and (gags) Cowboys fans. It pains me to watch these teams compete every year for a division crown, and media coverage not even consider us a threat. That's like going out to dinner with your woman, and a buster flirting with your girl WHILE YOU'RE AT THE TABLE! Where's the scruples? It's not on him, though; you're not handling your business. Skins, when are you going to handle your business?
The effects go much deeper than just watching on Sundays. Redskins, your "terrible-ness" results in me taking crap from co-workers, friends, and people I don't even know! People think I'm kidding when I say I'm a Washington fan, taking pride in trashing the name. They don't remember the last time the Skins were a powerhouse. My friends don't know Joe Theismann or John Riggins; Art Monk hasn't suited up in years! More importantly, do you know hard it is to bring up football with the ladies? I met an attractive lady who likes the Packers; imagine that conversation. "Aaron Rogers is cool, but no one throws an interception like Rex Grossman! Pick 6 Time!"
Yesterday, the team had a chance to do right by their fans. The season immediately becomes a success if they beat the (excuse my french) punk-*ss Cowboys. They stood on the cusp! It came down to one field goal, and I watched on my sickbed as Graham Gano missed the game winner. Gano, I'm sure you have a family to feed, but if you can't kick field goals, kick rocks.
Washington Redskins, we refuse to let you take us through the mud any longer. Get your ish together. I'm a intelligent, handsome black man, and I treat you well. There are plenty of other teams who would LOVE for me to root for them. I will take the kids, and be out. Wait...I sound like I'm in an bad relationship. Now that I think about it, that sounds about right.
Cedric Perry is the producer of the sitcom "We're Just Talking" and author of two young adult novels, Homecoming and In Line for Love. For more on Perry, go to www.pick6time.com.
This is why you need to just get real, and become a Steelers fan.
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