She "Acts Like a Man, Thinks Like a Man"

It's not Steve Harvey's fault.

As easy as it is to point to Harvey's movie and bestsellers for the revolution in female (specifically Black female) demeanor, his writings were merely the final ingredient in the recipe for change. We have reached a new era of Girl Power, a renaissance of sorts. Women are claiming their independence, facet by facet, and will settle for nothing less than victory. If they find a formula to make female baller Skylar Diggins play above the rim, they will take basketball. Basketball is a long-term objective, however; the goal circled and highlighted on females' flip charts is the relationship.

It says it right there!

It's not a stretch (nor a chauvinistic statement) to say to that throughout history, men maintained a firm grip on the "control" of relationships or the dating scene. That is not completely the case in this day and age. A large portion of women have developed an innate ability to live "sans man" and be successful. More importantly, females learned to demand what they want from men they DO become involved with, and obtain it without being emotionally attached. To sum it up, the ladies have extended Harvey’s premise and used it on males; They learned how to "Act like a MAN, think like a man ". 

Two of my all-time favorite movies document that this premise is by no means a new one; Spike Lee's 1986 classic "She's Gotta Have It" and "Boomerang" (directed by Reginald Hudlin) are prime examples of such. "She's Gotta Have It" provides a look in the life of a sexually independent Black woman being courted by three men, liking all of them, but committing to none. In the comedic film "Boomerang", the mindset of emotionally detached, "Love them and leave them", "Cold...Blooded"  normally perpetrated by lead character Eddie Murphy is implemented against him by Robin Givens. Women sought equality and, in some instances, control in relationships way before Steve Harvey was King of Relationship Advice, radio, even comedy.

The behavior initiates a drum of questions: What caused this? Why? How did this movement become so powerful?  Well simply, they got tired. While there are plenty of men who have no involvement in the mistreatment of women, those who do pushed girls over the edge.  Women decided that they deserved some power, and they certainly have the “weapons of mass destruction” to obtain it. Power, for both sexes, is an incredible aphrodisiac, and assisted the male in assuming the Top Dog (…Bow Wow; Living Single reference) role in the courtship. In 2011, the assets that gave us power now put females in the driver's seat. Control in a relationship would be determined by obtaining an advantage in three categories: Physical (Sexual), Financial, and Emotional. 

Initially, all three were on a string, working together, and men dominated those categories. Now, women have made strides in earning their own money and developed a cold heart of sorts. More importantly they are capitalizing on male's desire to do anything for sexual attention. In hindsight, Beyoncé’s inquiry of “Who runs the world?” may not be so far off.  The sad thing is, through both of us fighting to overtake the other; we exhaust the energy needed to make moves TOGETHER.

The true issue is that many men and women view relationships as a buyout instead of a merger; one of the two must have "power" over the other. I don’t want power over you, I want power WITH you. All of my male role models recognize that their success is predicated off, in addition to faith and hard work, the support of a strong female beside them. As for the ladies, I may be wrong, but I thought Harvey’s books  were to teach you the insight of men to obtain one, not become one. While you may receive a great return on acting out this premise, men who date women will tell you, "I don't want date a girl who acts like a man." We enjoy a woman who can do her own, but we need that reassurance that there are some things only we can do. The independent role is great, but even Michael Jordan had Scottie.  So when you wake up tomorrow, thank God, then act like (and think like) a decent person. I'm sure that treating people right still carries weight.