I've had a couple conversations with both sexes about posting their relationship status on social networks. With the large number of brothers trying to secure women online, it appears to be...well, a "trending topic". In the society we live in, pursuing romantic interests online is now considered a viable option. Reminiscing over personal arguments with my girlfriend about the subject, I know it can cause issues in a relationship. Now stepping back and analyzing, there are strong arguments from all angles.
For the female in an undefined situation (aka "talking"), I understand; there is no status made for you yet lol. You are not fully committed, but you are not looking to add any more contestants. Men SHOULD have no qualms with you, but like Facebook, it's still hard for us to process that request. Please give this consideration when receiving advances. Ladies (and fellas) in a full-blown relationship, despite the privacy you seek on a SOCIAL network, it may benefit your case to actually highlight your relationship. Many men understand that as a "Holla at your own risk" sign, and either fall back or welcome on the ignorance to follow. I've heard some girls don't like to put it up, and I question that theory. Why don't you want people to know if you are in a relationship? I can only imagine warranting more attention if you don't have it there. If you are trying to be committed, then identifying yourself as off the market is step in the right direction.
Single guys, understand that just because it's not there is not a SURE FIRE sign ladies are free and interested. It can be confusing, a woman in a committed relationship not acknowledging it, but she is not required to provide that info. I'm not sure if women try to "scoop" over the 'Book, but guys who hide their status place you in an awkward situation as well. Personally, I like to just ask, or if being "incognegro", I invite them to a lunch or for a drink. Old school yes, but fundamentals never hurt anyone.
We must be cognizant that every person identifies the main function of social networking differently. Some use it as a way to maintain relationships with friends and family. Others view the sites as marketing tools. A large number of people consume it under dating site pretenses. So approach with caution.
For the female in an undefined situation (aka "talking"), I understand; there is no status made for you yet lol. You are not fully committed, but you are not looking to add any more contestants. Men SHOULD have no qualms with you, but like Facebook, it's still hard for us to process that request. Please give this consideration when receiving advances. Ladies (and fellas) in a full-blown relationship, despite the privacy you seek on a SOCIAL network, it may benefit your case to actually highlight your relationship. Many men understand that as a "Holla at your own risk" sign, and either fall back or welcome on the ignorance to follow. I've heard some girls don't like to put it up, and I question that theory. Why don't you want people to know if you are in a relationship? I can only imagine warranting more attention if you don't have it there. If you are trying to be committed, then identifying yourself as off the market is step in the right direction.
Single guys, understand that just because it's not there is not a SURE FIRE sign ladies are free and interested. It can be confusing, a woman in a committed relationship not acknowledging it, but she is not required to provide that info. I'm not sure if women try to "scoop" over the 'Book, but guys who hide their status place you in an awkward situation as well. Personally, I like to just ask, or if being "incognegro", I invite them to a lunch or for a drink. Old school yes, but fundamentals never hurt anyone.
We must be cognizant that every person identifies the main function of social networking differently. Some use it as a way to maintain relationships with friends and family. Others view the sites as marketing tools. A large number of people consume it under dating site pretenses. So approach with caution.
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Personally, I wouldn't put my relationship status on a social network because I don't feel the need to. Just b/c I am now committed doesn't mean my whole FB family has to know. And as soon as you break up then you have to change your status to "single." Why go through the 20 questions from "friends" that don't speak to you half the time only to be nosey about what happened with your relationship? If guys or girls are trying to holla then just be honest enough to let them know you are off the market. And just b/c you have an "In A Relationship" status doesn't necessarily stop people from pursuing.
ReplyDeleteYou make valid points, Whitney. The process of changing relationship statuses can be difficult; the good thing is that there are settings to remove changes in status from being posted to your news feed. I do have a question for you though. Your perspective seems to speak only to your feelings about a proposed relationship. What would your response be if your beau wanted you to post your status up?
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