What's up everybody? Hope everyone is enjoying their Friday and this wack snow lol. A lot of things going on: Pick 6 is continuing to grow at a exponential rate, slowly getting back to writing, my family is stable, and I'm reconnecting with people who are very important to me. But you know I'm not for all that violin stuff. Let's get to the business (self-owned lol).
One of my favorite party tracks right now is Chris Brown and Tyga, "Holla at Me" (shoutout to the producer Jahlil Beats). It's a real hype song, but the title and the hook is ties into today's theme of communication. It appears that men and women are still having breakdowns in communication, which in my opinion can be avoided. How do we get on the same page? How do we unify the two sides, like heavyweight boxing titles?
The truth is...we need to tell the truth! If there's a problem, respectfully discuss it. When I've stirred you up, reach out to me. Breezy says it best: "Holla at me boo...holla at me, baby!" But you know me, I do 6. So I've split up 3 common issues in communication from both gender, and how to resolve it. Let's start with the fellas, and things we say:
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| Breezy's unreleased jam indirectly speaks volumes about the current dating scene. |
1. I don't want a commitment (trying to hit). Fellas, I know. You saw the shorty with the oiled up legs and the baby hair (lol) and you wanted her. Physically, and that's it. You just trying to GTD. Well if that's the M.O., not saying I support it, but be upfront. In this day and age, a lot of WOMEN are not interested in commitment either. But you have to be a man of your word, and if your word changes, she needs to know and why. This is especially true if she let you see the joobies. While the two of you may not want commitment, every deserves the opportunity to make an informed decision. She should have the opportunity to be down or be gone.
2. I'm going through a lot (the string-along). Despite the news you have to relay, being honest doesn't have to be mean. The string-along is messed up. We've all been there. The person who is mad cool, or the girl who knows all the right things to say, but you know it's not a good fit. No one wants to be lonely, so we want to have backups, or people we know can pick us up. The thing is that person is looking so much deeper into that, and has no clue you want no PARTS of them. Keep it real.
3. You played me. (cry for attention) Many females over look the fact that men are very proud, but emotional creatures. We display our emotions in different ways. The worst thing you can do to a man is bruise his ego. As a male, you have to tell your woman this, but in a firm way, or she'll write you off as sensitive.
Now to the ladies:
1. I've been so busy (Not interested) Ladies, I know the free meal is appealing. I know that complimentary drink is gonna be on point. Realize, though, that MANY men view your acceptance as a symbol of interest. If a bro spends money to take you to the movies, he likes you! He paid money and he took you out in public! There are exceptions, of course, so just watch for the signs. Secondly, don't keep accepting offers if you know there's nothing there. Save your time, and save his money. He's gonna hit you up if you don't nip it in the bud, and then you have to do the missed calls, and "I'm so busy" spiel. Ain't that much busy in the world.
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| Honesty and Accountability go a long way in talking, courting, and dating. |
2. I'm doing me right now (waiting for a good offer) After a bad experience, we all need a little break. Everyone needs that time to rejuvenate, but be more specific. I'm doing me sounds like you have the Duracell on deck, and no man is coming in between you and your "light saber". Clear up where each individual stands, because you feel differently about each offer made.
3. Non-verbal (can mean anything) Men suck at non verbal communication. Women can really be interested in us, or they can just be practicing their flirting. A woman will say "I'm fine" until she's blue in the face, and if don't acknowledge her discontent, she'll never forgive you lol. Say what you feel, preferably in 500 characters or less. Also pick conducive environments. Don't tell a man things during sports or dinner, or after intimacy. We're in outer space.
Be cognizant of some of these points when you get in these situations, and it will be much easier to "holla at me, boo...holla at me, baby."
Ceddy P #6
For more on writer Cedric Perry and "Confessions of a Big Dreamer", like the page at www.facebook.com/cedsconfessions.Also, follow us on twitter @cedsconfessions.
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Thank you for posting!