Facebook Gangster

What’s up everyone? It’s good to be writing to you today. This was a great weekend; Bandman and I performed a special taping of Pick 6 on Friday, and linked up with some future partners. Saturday I attended my “Numba’s” dinner party celebrating her birthday. Before I forget, let me shout out all the people that came through: Mikki Mouse, Imani, Cici (you’re wild), my Dean Wes, the Rob and Steff show, Bracy, and of course, my #2 (Hey, Baby Girl.) Since I’m in a good mood, let’s even shout out fake John Legend and his manager. Legend was trying to holla at everything moving; he even made a pass at me, but I don’t roll like that. Wow I don’t even know that guy.  Lord, forgive me.

Onto the “real”; today I’m writing about another epidemic greatly impacting us, the Internet Gangster. Also known as the Facebook Thug, this heathen is a frequent visitor of your chats, inbox, and Honesty Box. They can be categorized under one of two species: The lover, who uses the web to try and get drawers, and the fighter, who utilizes idle threats and curse words to intimidate people. Now many of you may be wondering, “Do I know an Internet Gangster; more importantly, am I one?” Well here are three strong indicators to be aware of in your internet conversations:

1.       Slick Remarks that appear to be Abnormal Behavior from a Person.

Do you have people you follow on Twitter that are constantly talking freaky? At 5:30 in the evening? Or do you know young teenagers with statuses more foul than morning breath? Have a conversation with these people. See how “sensual” they are in a normal setting.  Observe if these young cats curse in front of their momma. (Note: What happened to cursing in the schoolyard, so your family never knew you cursed?) If they’re extremely shy and present themself as Sister Mary Catherine or Pastor Troy in real life, be weary: They’re an Internet Gangster.

2.       An inbox message insinuating ignorance and or violence.

While I don’t consider myself a fighter, I know most of the rules. My high school basketball coach (yes I ball) always told us, “The empty can makes the loudest noise.” So all that talking you’re doing is just that: talk. Real thugs don’t give warnings! You ever heard a thief say, “If you keep rocking jewelry, I’m gonna rob you”? Of course not. They’re a Twitter Thug.

3.       Sexual innuendos from an acquaintance that doesn’t approach you romantically in person.

It’s not a good look to tell someone on chat how strong you come in the bedroom, but you don’t come strong in the cafeteria, the office, the classroom, or the club; basically, any time you see them. You’re a fake (Play-Action). Fellas stop fronting and telling these ladies this, that, and the sixth; Especially if you were scared to approach her for her phone number. You must not have liked her that much. Ladies, while it’s nice to see you be aggressive, if that’s not your true nature, don’t lie. It’s always fashionable to be true to yourself.

Now we laugh and joke about this topic, but Internet “Gangster-dom” has reached an incredulous level, recently leading to the deaths of young, innocent people. In a time where everything spoken or written has consequences, it’s important to tell these chumps to “fall back.” We as a nation should definitely  embrace people expressing themselves but when it’s at the expense of another person, a falsehood used to market yourself, or just to get attention, it cannot be ignored. With great gifts comes great responsibility. For this extensive freedom of speech, we should be a little more accountable. So I leave this blog hoping to see a little less corniness, reduced tough talk, and even less freaky talk. As much as I appreciate intimacy, I understand that people that utilize the tool properly don’t use facebook chat (or text, for that matter) as their primary source of romance for a love interest they are REALLY interested in. Duh. I’m out, team. 6.